"If you can give me your feelings, and your perception of me, I can show you the pearl of sweet disarray!"
Suppose you are suddenly drawn up by a huge, solid wall in front of you that runs infinitely from both sides. Behind it lies your destiny that you urge for. You are said to break it with all your might but achievements are not that easy. You see another wall behind you and you are told that you will be granted your past if you choose to break it. You stand in the center, perplexed by the situation. Your choice will decide that either your heart wishes for confusion or cries mentally for the fabricated thoughts, but you do not know that you are lost in your own dimensions!
I was living a life like a constant flowing river. I termed myself the wave that swiftly moved, but I never paid attention to the reality where the river ends. The flow is never smooth. You realize that at some point, you have to deal with emotions and pain, and time brings them to crush your faith. Eventually, you are left with your mind and when it crosses the limit of your tolerance, you have nothing but to let yourself drown with tears.
I am a private person. I do not like to divulge my details to anyone, yet you will find me friendly, enjoyable, and cheerful if you can understand me. As the more perceptive of me probably realized by now, this is my nature and personality. Although my life is rough right now and nobody really knows it. My present state has altered my trust in heart. Week after week, since the pleasant start, I am sinking in my own fear, and it has exceptionally discontented me. I cannot figure out why I am having a disoriented experience with continuous sickness which lasts whole week and at the end of week, I am wished a cheerful prognostics by another ailment. I am simply and quietly waiting.
In a nutshell, I mean I really want to end this, I wish I can just tell the truth to the soul that I met when my new journey started, and want too see every day, that can relate me with quietness and sweetness, can only judge me, and define me as the reason of anticipations. Though, sadly, this is never going to happen because my life is devoid of happiness. My only place of joy left is loneliness as silence is the best speaker.