"No force can stop me from remembering you. I hope you'll realise how much you've hurt me."
I felt fairly well and a little irritated. I'd lost the biggest expectation. For a moment, I was delirious and unable to think of myself. My feelings coiled with sorrow, regret, and dejection. There were drops in my illustrious eyes. I seemed to hold in the heart a lachrymose expression. It was all over! I've never been taught to cry, and it was a new pain for me. There was no one who could feel the pain, as pain is undeniable and irrefutable. I was in a position where I couldn't have a hold on myself. The air wiped some tears from my eyes, and I got up. I walked out of the room and started for the door.
The air was pleasing and comfortable, though. The light breeze lifted up some leaves, and I could hear the birds chirping. I sat on the porch. The last of the sunlight attended me with the prognostics of a cheerful night. But it was depressing. It was hard to answer the question "what's wrong?" when nothing feels right.
The memories were there to bother me, keen and bold. They were sharp enough to cut through my heart. I shifted the memories and started to look at the sky. The sun had settled to give the moon a chance to shine. 'Tis so sweet. Even nature has a heart. A heart that transcends the thinking of mankind. I wonder why humans sometimes show reluctance. We all are equal. We've equally the power to explore, the desire to wonder, and the ability to think. The memories flashed at a distance from the eyes. They were deep in my brain. They were deep where only I could reach. I couldn't pocket the self-centered and patronizing ignorance. It was too difficult to remain like this.
This was bad enough-I've never lost anybody so close before, but it was different. She was now a ghost of my past. I sometimes howled as if I was a wolf. "She was erratic, with a fine complexion and a good-humored countenance", I said to myself. The past few hours were dreadful. 'Tis utterly immoral to take a revenge. I'd feeling for her not to forgive, but implacable resentment is a shade in the character. If I could give her one thing, I would give her a chance to see herself through my eyes. It would be an unthinkable proposition for such a considerate and sensitive fellow to think that I am perfect!
I was trying to get myself to relax. I could only do this. I rested my head against the chair which was there. I could see only darkness everywhere. I'd done two mistakes. First, I judged from the very out set that I would get her. Second, I convinced myself by giving the logic that she would show interest. But I trusted my opinions and went to discover my fate. I was like a tree alone in a deserted place. Now, ignorance is my war. Feelings have passed away like falling walls. I realized it's good to stay alone. I felt it, the way you feel a tiny breeze on your skin when it's hot. I had nothing to do with it.
Author: Ali Aamir
Author: Ali Aamir
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